Women Labeled Cougars - A Double Standard At Play?
Terez 
It happened very gradually. Over the last several months, I've become more aware of a new term being bandied about in popular media. "You know that guy was bagged by a cougar?" "Cougars are hot!" "Man, that bar was filled with cougars!"
I thought, "what the hell are these people talking about?" Then this past fall, the ABC television network premiered a new Courtney Cox sitcom called, of all things, Cougartown.
Well that was the last straw. Being the un-hipster that I am, I searched online to find out what this new, popular slang term meant. Wow, were my eyes opened!
The definitions for cougar are varied, but they all are variations of the same theme: Typically, a cougar is a single, successful, attractive, 35+ year-old woman who dates (or just beds) much younger men.
Think Demi Moore and Ashton Kucther. So, there you have it America. A brand spanking new label for you to use to divide people even further.
Personally, I hate it. In my opinion, calling these women cougars most definitely has a negative connotation. When one thinks of an actual cougar, one term immediately leaps to mind: A predator.
Call me crazy, but that is not the most flattering term one can use to refer to someone else. More importantly, it's indicative of the sexual double standard in this country between men and women.
Consider this, when older men date much younger women, the man is considered virile, confident, and sophisticated. The younger woman is often thought of as a "gold-digger," or possessed of questionable morals.
On the other hand, when older women date younger men, they are considered to be "robbing the cradle." The often unspoken sentiment is that they are desperate and needy.
To be fair, I have encountered persuasive arguments to the contrary. Many argue that "cougars" are now seen in a positive light. That being a cougar currently means mature women are considered desirable, in control of their lives, and as powerful as their male counterparts.
Others insist these women are now being celebrated in popular culture, like the aforementioned sitcom Cougartown. They also assert that many younger men consider it a coup if they attract the romantic attention of these older women. Dating guides, web sites, and books have sprung up in service to these women.
While this argument does seem to have merit, there is one basic question still nagging at me. In light of the fact that there is no label for older men who date younger women, why is there the need to label older women who chose to date younger men?
Is not this label indicative of a double standard at play?
Tell me, am I way off base here? What are your feelings about this?
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Reader Comments (2)
I agree, the double standards present in labels such as "cougars" and "gold diggers" is clear. One would think in this day and age we would have evolved past such archaic gender archetypes.
Thanks for your comment Frank! Those labels (and others like them) are often used to perpetuate gender-based stereotypes. Stereotypes which continue to act as a hinderance to healthier relationships between men and women.