Why Rituals Can Improve Your Relationship

Rituals Defined

When most of us think of rituals, a religious observance of some kind comes to mind. However, the definition of ritual can also be expanded to include any activity in our lives which we have internalized and repeat over and over, rain or shine. 

Another key element to a ritual is that it is observed in spite of our feelings. For instance, you may work out four days out of every week without fail, or have dinner with your in-laws every second Sunday of the month.

The point is, whether we realize it or not,  we have very important rituals in our lives we observe - rituals which help define us and give our lives more meaning.

Why Relationship Rituals Are Important

Consequently, making a conscious choice to observe rituals in your relationship can help to strengthen the bond with your partner. How? Observing rituals in your relationship  demonstrates your commitment  to each other by intentional actions.

However, allow me to qualify my previous statement by emphasizing that these rituals must serve to enhance both you and your relationship.

In fact, many couples who enjoy successful unions have mutually agreed to practice certain rituals to reinforce the qualities they feel are vital to the health of their relationships.  

My opinion is, it is easy to verbalize your commitment to each other, but performing rituals will help to put your feelings into action.

Some examples of relationship rituals are:

• Making a conscious decision to spend quality time together. One couple I know spend every Saturday morning visiting yard and estate sales - an activity they both thoroughly enjoy.
• Saying "I love you" at least once daily. It may sound obvious, but it is surprising how easy it can be to fall out of this habit.
• In the evening, asking each other "How was your day?" with genuine  interest!
• Making an earnest effort to be thoughtful, like providing an impromptu foot rub - or completing a tedious chore so your partner doesn't have to deal with it.
• Before disagreements turn into full-scale conflicts, agreeing to use techniques like mirroring, to ensure you both are really listening to each other.
• Demonstrating physical affection such as hand-holding, hugs, kisses, etc.
• Making a sincere attempt to change behaviors you know irritate your partner. For instance, refusing to argue with her father about politics.

Finally

As you can see, there are many ways to use rituals to strengthen your relationship.  Truthfully, rituals in relationships can also be defined as love in action.   

So the real question is, what are you doing today to show your partner how you truly feel?

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