How To Avoid The Worst Dating Mistake Guys Make!

A Horror Story

A dear friend of mine, Sara (the names have been changed to protect the innocent) was divorced a few years ago, and she is back on the dating scene.

Recently, she was excited over accepting a first date with Mark, her new neighbor.

When we had lunch the day after the big event, I asked her how it went. "Terez," she sighed, "The evening started out great.  

Mark is a very attractive, put-together guy. We met at an excellent restaurant we decided on. However, things went downhill quickly when I made the mistake of asking what he did for a living."  Uh-oh.

Sara proceeded, "With that simple question I was subjected to a 30 minute lecture of not only what he did, but also what professional awards he has won, how much he  earned last year, what make of luxury car he prefers, how often he works out, and I even know what brand of deordorant he likes!"

Suffice to say, Sara assured me there will most definitely not be a second date with Mark.

The Critical Mistake

Mark made one of the worst mistakes many guys do on the first (or any other) date: dominating the conversation, or as Sara aptly put it, making the entire evening "all about you!"

Gentlemen, I still think we fail to fully realize how much of a turn-off this is to women.  When we hijack a conversation we appear to be:

• Arrogant
• Egotistical
• Rude
• Competely self-absorbed

Not very attractive qualities are they? Yet due to a misguided need to impress or appear more interesting, guys will unwittingly create the opposite impression.

The sad end result is watching your date leave skid marks while escaping through the nearest exit.

Not good.

 Course Correction

Fortunately, the best way to guarantee you do not make this mistake is remembering that great conversation is always a two-way street.  Here are some important tips to help make sure your date goes well:

1. Maintain eye contact with her.  No matter what she is wearing or how she is wearing it, avoid undressing her with your eyes. Not doing so will make her feel as though you are not taking her seriously. Of course compliment her on her appearance, but keep those eyes up!
2. Ask her interesting questions.
3. Listen to what she is saying without thinking of your next witty response. 
4. Try to avoid talking about highly sensitive topics such as religion or politics, unless both of your professions are in related fields.

Finally

Being a good conversationalist is a great way to ensure both you and your date enjoy the experience. By following the tips above and being yourself, you will increase your chances for achieving the dating success you really want!

What do you think is the worst dating mistake guys make?  Please share your opinions with us by commenting below!

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How Guys Can Overcome A Top Dating Roadblock - Shyness

Do you consider yourself a shy person?  How often have you encountered someone you might be interested in, but did not approach them because of fear of being judged?

Or if you did muster up enough courage to approach  a woman, you found yourself tongue-tied and flustered?

Many men cite shyness as one of the main causes for their lack of success in dating. 

Okay, here's the bad news.  When you are shy about approaching a woman you might be interested in, she has no way of knowing that you are just being timid.  The hard truth is that shyness is often misinterpreted as:

• being aloof
• arrogance
• being just plain creepy, as in stalker creepy

However, the good news is that you don't have to continue to allow shyness to hinder your dating life. There are ways to overcome it.

First, let's examine one of root causes of shyness in most people.  Shyness often stems from self-esteem issues. You don't feel you measure up.  You constantly compare yourself to others - and find yourself lacking. Your self-confidence is extremely low.

Shyness might seem harmless, but it can make getting to know someone extremely difficult. This is due to the "mental stories" that you have going on in your head. Thoughts such as "she may not like me because I'm too short, bald, etc."  are often baseless and only serve to hold you back. 

The following are some helpful tips you can use to overcome dating shyness:

• First, realize that you have the power within yourself to change. Once you accept this realization, the catalyst for overcoming shyness is unleashed. 

• Next, counter negative thoughts of unworthiness, inferiority and fear with positive, self-affirming mental images.  If you need help with this, there are countless books and other resources to help you. The key is to realize that you can make a conscious decision to change the focus of what you think about.

• Learn to become more comfortable in your own skin.  If you are constantly worried about what others think of you, stop!  Consider this: often the most confident people aren't always the prettiest or the most handsome. They are the folks who are truly comfortable with who they are, and could care less about what others think of them.  This trait is extremely attractive.

• Overcome your fear of approaching women with practice.  Practice small talk with that person in the elevator, or the cashier at the grocery store. Start conversations by asking genuine questions, or pay a sincere complement. The goal is to just start. The more practice you have in talking to others, the less intimidation you will feel.

 Finally, please remember that you don't have to let shyness continue to hinder your love life. It may seem daunting at first, but it can be overcome. It just takes the will to change. Let today be your day.

What are your feelings about the impact that shyness has on dating?

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RELATED POSTS

How To Avoid The Worst Dating Mistake Guys Make!

Planning That First Date? Here Are Some Fun (& Cheap) Ideas