28 Relationship Questions That Can Change Your Life

Often when seeking solutions to challenges in our lives, the best way to gain clarity is to ask ourselves honest questions about the situation.

The point of the following 28 relationship questions is not to establish guilt or blame, nor is there a right or wrong answer. 

These questions are to help provoke deep thought, and again, to help you obtain more clarity.

Clarity which can often led to healthy change.

1. If you knew you only had 5 minutes left to live, how would you feel about the last conversation you had with your partner?

2.  Is there a secret you've been keeping that if your partner knew, you feel you would lose them?

3.  When was the first time you realized you had fallen in love with your partner?

4.  Do you feel your partner has seen you at your best/worst?

5.  Do you feel your partner completely accepts you?

6. Does your sex life fulfill you? Why or Why not?

7.  If you knew without a shadow of a doubt you could have an affair without your partner ever knowing,   would you?

8.  Do you consider your partner as your very best friend?

9.  Do you believe in soul mates? If so, is your partner yours?

10. Do you completely trust your partner?

11. Do you feel your partner completely trusts you?

12. Ever feel as if you have had an entire conversation with your partner without ever saying a word?

13. Does it bother you that your partner has close friends of the opposite sex?

14. What is the happiest memory you have of you and your partner?  What makes it so special to you?

15. When you two argue, are past wrongs and resentments often brought up?

16. How do you feel when your partner arrives home after being away?

17. When was the last time you told each other "I love you?"

18. How do you feel about your partner's sexual past?

19. When you think of your future together, what emotions are evoked?

20. How do you feel when your partner is found attractive by others?

21. What are your feelings about the way your household finances are managed?

22. Do you enjoy spending time with each other's families? Why or why not?

23. How often do you make each other laugh?

24. Do you feel you have made personal sacrifices for your relationship?

25. Do you believe your partner is "in your corner?"

26. How do you think your partner would describe you if someone asked? Would you agree with their description?

27. When was the last time you just held each other close?

28. What will you do today to express your love to your partner?

An excellent book I am proud to be affiliated with, is author Michael Webb's 1000 Questions For Couples.

This guide provides an extensive listing of deep, probing questions on topics couples should discuss, but often do not.

In your opinion, why do couples avoid discussing certain important topics, such as money management? Share your thoughts with the community by commenting below.

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Who Are The Married Walking Dead?

When you make a vow to be with another person for as long as you both shall live, you are vowing to be alive in your marriage. To do otherwise is to squander God's most precious gifts - life and time.

- Dr. Robin L. Smith

A different kind of death

Every day, two people stand in the sacredness of their love and pledge to be together 'til death do us part. 

If you are like the majority of us, you tend to only consider the literal meaning of this vow - physical death which severs the bonds of matrimony between bride and groom.

But the shocking reality is, many couples remain married long after death. However, the death they have experienced is a spiritual rather than a physical one.

These couples are the married, walking dead.

This spiritual death occurs when a person chooses to remain in an unhappy, loveless (and often) abusive marriage.

Ironically, these individuals believe they are honoring their vow to be with their spouse for as long as they both shall live, but their spirit and soul have already perished.

Unfortunately, I've observed far too many people who are becoming members of the walking dead because their relationships are killing the very essence of who they are.

The signs

If you look and listen closely enough, you may notice some of the signs:

• an ever-ready smile which is not reflected in the eyes
• a hint of regret and disdain heard in the voice when speaking of their spouse
• resentment expressed toward a spouse who does not support their hopes or dreams
• a sense of dread felt when they are in the presence of their spouse

Of course, the question has been often raised as to why people choose to remain in  miserable marriages. But maybe a better question should be, why do people decide to enter into unhealthy relationships to begin with? 

For example, why does a man select a woman who emasculates and belittles him at every opportunity? Why would a woman not pack her bags the very first time she is mentally, verbally or physically abused? 

My personal feeling is somewhere along the way, the person's self-esteem has taken a substantial hit.  This may help to explain why anyone would choose a lifetime of suffering in a loveless marriage.

The violated marriage contract

When a person checks out of his relationship by being emotionally absent or abusive, he has already violated the marriage contract. 

Remaining in such a union may result in you losing yourself, which is a form of spiritual death.

Let me take a moment to explain that I am not anti-marriage. My opposition is to needless suffering. The hard fact is, some marriages are damaged beyond repair.

If you are in such a situation, ask yourself this vital question - at the end, do you want your headstone to read: Here lies Jill. Though completely miserable, she sure hung in there with Jack!"

In conclusion

Remaining with a partner who has emotionally "checked out" of your marriage  is a tragedy.

If your relationship is killing your spirit, you need to decide if you are going to choose self-love and preservation over a lifetime of misery.

My deepest hope is that you will choose the former.  Anything less would be a tragic waste.

What are some definitive signs a marriage has deteriorated beyond repair? Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

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