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Entries in communication (5)

Friday
Mar192010

Dealing with a tv obsessed boyfriend? How to get more of his attention!

A common complaint women have about their relationships is feeling they have to compete with television for their man's attention.

No matter if it's video games, sports, etc., the frustrated refrain heard is: "How can I get him to spend less time in front of the t.v. and more time with me?!"

Okay ladies, your concern is valid.  However, let me tell you what strategies will not work: begging, pleading, making demands, and giving ultimatums.

If you have tried any of the above methods, I'm sure you can attest they leave you feeling even more frustrated, angry and fed up. Even worse, often your man becomes defensive and irritated at being pressured. 

Your discontent along with his annoyance ultimately adds up to more conflict and hurt feelings on both sides.

However, it's important to remember, most men don't consciously set out to take their women for granted.  Many view their activities in front of the television as a way to unwind.

So, what's the answer?  How can you compete for more of your guy's attention?   

You don't!

Now, before you dismiss this idea out of hand consider  why dosen't  being demanding, begging and pleading work?  Well, here are two main reasons:

  • no one likes being told what they have to do or must do  - and -
  • desperate behaviors are simply not attractive, and may serve to push the two of you further apart

Instead of waiting around for your guy to pay more attention to you, take that time for you.  Isn't there a hobby or activity you have been meaning to try? As the old saying goes "there's no time like the present!"

Just because you are in a relationship, doen't mean you must stop growing as an individual.  There are too many women who lose their identities when they enter into a serious relationship. 

Don't allow this happen to you.

Take that yoga class. Learn the foreign language you have always been intrigued by.  Go dancing.   Take up sculpting or photography. Call up old friends and re-connect. Write the next great novel.  Don't you see the possibilites are endless?

Eventually your guy will start to miss you being at home waiting for him to clear time from his schedule to spend with you.  This fact alone should get his attention. 

His curiosity will be piqued as to what you are up to.  Nothing is more attractive than a confident, well-rounded person who does interesting things (that person being you).

On the other hand, it is a very real possibility your man may not take notice and his behavior remains unchanged.   If that should be the case, then it is a sign there are deeper issues in your relationship you both need to address. 

Bottom line, you come out a winner because, regardless of the outcome, you will not be sacrificing your personal growth as a human being.

Have you ever felt the need to compete for your man's attention?  If so, what did you do? Please share your experience with us by leaving a comment!

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Tuesday
Jan192010

Men Vs Women - How Their Listening Styles Differ (Video)

If you follow this blog for any length of time,  you will realize that I'm a huge cheerleader for couples improving their communication skills in order to better relate to each other.

Subsequently, a KEY ingredient to better communication in relationships is discovering how women and men differ in the way  they listen to each other.

The following video does a great job of summing up the main differences  in the listening styles between women and men:

 

 

So,  what are YOUR feelings on how women and men tend to listen?  Please, comment and share your thoughts with us!

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