Jealousy - What Causes It, What To Do About It

Jealousy, also known as the "green-eyed monster," has been the bane of many relationships. Most of us have experienced twinges of jealousy to varying degrees in our life.

However, there are those whose feelings of jealousy are often taken to the irrational extreme, and it is often detrimental to their relationships.

Personally, I cringe every time I hear someone say something to the effect of "Oh, I wanted to make my partner jealous, so he/she will appreciate me." 

What they don't realize is that jealousy can open a Pandora's Box of misery and pain.

Okay, jealousy can be very bad. Check.   But what causes it?

From my experience chronic jealousy has two root causes:

1. Deep-rooted feelings of insecurity.  Your partner has done nothing to instigate your jealousy, but you just don't  completely trust her.  Possessiveness and anxiety are your constant companions who continually whisper doubts in your ear.   -or -
2. The  acutal behaviors of the other partner.  An example of this would be your partner openly flirting with others in your presence.  These types of behaviors make you uncomfortable.

In order to deal with the first cause of jealousy, you must be willing to do some deep soul searching. If you are a jealous person by nature, what are the root reasons for your feelings of insecurity? 

If necessary, professional counseling is a very effective way of helping you identify and work through the issues you may confront.  If you don't face your issues, you run the risk of damaging your relationship as well as hampering future ones.

On the other hand, if your partner is actually behaving in ways that are making you jealous, it's time to sit down with them and have a talk.  Discuss with them what specific behaviors are making you feel uncomfortable.  Then have a conversation regarding what boundaries need to be established.

For this very reason, I am proud to be affiliated with author Cucan Pemo, who has written a great book that also covers this topic.

The bottom line is, don't let yourself or your relationship become another victim of the green-eyed monster. Instead resolve to do something about it, today.

What are your feelings about the impact jealousy can have on relationships? Please comment below and share  your thoughts with us!

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Comments

[percy avery]

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