Coping With Caring For A Terminally Ill Spouse

"In sickness and in health till death do us part" is the vow many make as they pledge their love to each other.

Truthfully, we know that eventually one partner may precede the other in death.

However, most of us frame this reality as an event that will happen in the far future - when the children are grown and we have become old and gray.

The hard fact is that terminal disease is no respecter of person or age. Whether a couple has been together for decades or just embarking on a new life, a diagnosis of terminal illness throws their world into upheaval.

The healthy spouse must cope not only with overwhelming grief, but in most cases, becoming the main source of physical, emotional and financial support for their partner and/or their family.

If you are dealing with caring for a terminally ill spouse, please realize you are not alone.

The following are eight strategies that experts agree will give you and your partner the support you need during this difficult time:

1. Accept aid from close family and friends.  As word spreads of the diagnosis, close family may want to offer support.  Allow them too- but only in a way that is practical and manageable for you and your spouse.
2. Learn to live moment by moment.  Many couples re-discover the beauty of their love by inhabiting each moment as it comes.
3. Your grieving process is normal.  Many believe grief comes in "stages."  I do not believe it's that cut and dry.  When coping with a tragic event, one's emotions can range from rage to denial to deep sorrow to glimpses of joy at the blink of an eye.  Everyone copes with grief in their own unique way.
4. Do not be afraid to seek professional help.  You may need to share with others who have similar experiences. Sometimes grief may lead to complications such as insomnia, suicidal thoughts or alcohol and drug abuse.  You can locate professional help with your doctor's assistance for from various support groups.  Visit wellspouse.org, a national organization whose mission is  to meet  the needs of those caring for a critically ill or disabled spouse.
5. Take time for yourself.  Whether you go for a walk, meditate or read, time alone  each day is crucial to help you de-stress and re-energize.
6. Encourage your spouse's independence.  Allow your spouse to perform whatever tasks they are capable of doing.  This will require honest discussions about what each of you expect.  Doing this will be rewarding for the both of you.
7. Hire professional help. If your finances permit, hire an outside caregiver or arrange for respite care.  This will allow you time to take care of important errands or engage in an activity you love.
8. Make time for each other.  Near the end of life, you and your spouse need to take as much time as possible to say everything you need to say to each other.  No value  can be placed on this.

If you found this message valuable, please share it with others. Also, please consider opting in for free updates via RSS.

Comments

[sunny lockwood]

This post is both informative and important. thank you for sharing such vital insight. No matter when we find ourselves facing the death of a loved one, these helpful pointers will help us in our difficult situation. Thank you.

[Terez]

Sunny, thanks for your kind words. It's an unfortunate reality of life that we all at some point in time will face the death of a loved one. I think it's most important to realize during that time even though we may feel alone, we, in fact, are not alone.

[Online Dating Relationship]

A marriage after a long lasting dating relationship will end in longer marriage life and in most cases upto death. Only those couples with strong bindings can look after the other when the other partner is in sick and needs a long care.