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5 Fun Date Ideas For Spring!

2010-03-09T07:46:48Z

Ah Spring! For many it means days of warm sunshine, blooming flowers and moderate temperatures.

It also means it's time to shake off Winter, grab your partner, and get out of the house!

Spring provides a great opportunity for you and your partner to enjoy fun, exciting and romantic dates in the Great Outdoors! The following are five great ideas to help you brainstorm:

Visit your local parks Spring is a great time to take your special someone to see nature at its gorgeous best. Drink in stunning natural vistas. Observe wildlife. Admire the flora, etc. Plus, many parks offer various trails for walking, jogging, biking, etc. Or, if there is a swing set available, sit and enjoy!
Visit a botanical garden This idea is an extension of the first. However, botantical gardens offer a wider variety of exotic flowers, trees and plants you may not experience elsewhere. In addition, many botanical gardens offer other outdoor activities such as art exhibits, brunches and open air concerts. These events provide an ideal setting for a romantic date.
Attend Open Houses Close friends of mine introduced me to this idea. Plan to attend open houses in your local area. Specifically look for those being held in historic neighborhoods, or those renown for their architectural style. This is not only a great way to leisurely spend an afternoon, but you can also learn interesting information about your community.
Go to a sporting event If you are both sports fans, attend an open air event. For example, minor or major league baseball games can make for an exciting and fun afternoon. Check with your local sporting venues for events and scheduling information.
Watch the stars On a clear, warm night go outside to star gaze. If you have a back yard, grab a blanket and lay under the stars.

Hopefully these five tips will give you inspiration to grab your loved one and enjoy all that Spring has to offer! By the way, do you have any other Spring date ideas? Please share them by commenting below!

Jealousy - What Causes It, What To Do About It

2010-03-06T08:18:26Z

Jealousy, also known as the "green-eyed monster," has been the bane of many relationships. Most of us have experienced twinges of jealousy to varying degrees in our life.

However, there are those whose feelings of jealousy are often taken to the irrational extreme, and it is often detrimental to their relationships.

Personally, I cringe everytime I hear someone say something to the effect of "Oh, I wanted to make my partner jealous, so he/she will appreciate me."

What they don't realize is that jealousy can open a Pandora's Box of misery and pain.

Okay, jealousy can be very bad. Check. But what causes it?

From my experience chronic jealousy has two root causes:

Deep-rooted feelings of insecurity. Your partner has done nothing to instigate your jealousy, but you just don't completely trust them. Possessiveness and anxiety are your constant companions who continually whisper doubts in your ear. -or -
The acutal behaviors of the other partner. An example of this would be your partner openly flirting with others in your presence. These types of behaviors make you uncomfortable.

In order to deal with the first cause of jealousy, you must be willing to do some deep soul searching. If you are a jealous person by nature, what are the root reasons for your feelings of insecurity?

If necessary, professional counseling is a very effective way of helping you identify and work through the issues you may confront. If you don't face your issues, you run the risk of damaging your relationship as well as hampering future ones.

On the other hand, if your partner is acutally behaving in ways that are making you jealous, it's time to sit down with them and have a talk. Discuss with them what specific behaviors are making you feel uncomfortable. Then have a conversation regarding what boundaries need to be established. Author Cucan Pemo has written a great book that also covers this topic.

The bottom line is, don't let youself or your relationship become another victim of the green-eyed monster. Instead resolve to do something about it, today.

What are your feelings about the impact jealousy can have on relationships? Please comment below and share your thoughts with us!

The Two Magic Words That Can Re-Ignite The Passion In Your Relationship

2010-02-27T23:46:37Z

It happens to most of us. You have a solid, stable relatonship. You and your partner love each other. You complement each other well.

Then you wake up one day and realize the passion in your relationship seems to have dimmed.

You both still care for each other very deeply, but what was once very exciting, even electric about your bond (conversations, sex, etc.) has become, well, routine.

Don't worry! This occurs with most couples who have been together for an extended period of time. The good news? You can begin to re-ignite your passion for one another with these two magic words: thank you!

Now, I realize that there are countless sites that offer numerous tips on how to put the excitement back in your relationship, and most are valid. Even I have written about relationship ruts.

However, an often overlooked root cause for the boredom we experience with our partners stems from the fact that, over time, we tend to start taking each other for granted.

Okay, to prove my point, take my challenge: make it a point to notice all of the things that your partner does for you, no matter how large or small.

Then, when he/she least expects it, express your heartfelt gratitude. Do this frequently. After about a week or so, my bet is you may be surprised at how your partner responds!

Please, don't underestimate the power of gratitude. Remember, we all long to feel appreciated, especially by those we care about.

When you sow seeds of gratitude in your relationship, you will reap many benefits, including the passion you both deserve.

What Is The Key To A Solid Relationship? T.R.U.S.T.

2010-02-18T06:00:36Z

What exactly makes a relationship successful? What is the key to a healthy, happy union?

Almost every one of us have asked ourselves those very questions at some point in our lives. I truly do not believe that the majority of people enter into a serious relationship thinking it will fail.

So, why are so many of us unhappy in our relationships? Why is the divorce rate in America as high as it is? Why do so many couples fall so madly in love, then just as quickly fall out of it?

Of course there are no simple answers to these questions, although Lord knows I wish there were. However, when I think of the couples I know who appear truly happy and content, there seems to be some common traits their relationships exhibit.

These traits, though not a guarantee for happiness, most definitely need to be present in any relationship in order for it to have the best chance of success.

These traits make up the acronym T.R.U.S.T. and they are:

T for Truth. Couples who are consistently honest with each other regarding what their goals and expectations are for their relationship tend to be more secure with each other. This security comes from the knowledge that they both know where each other stands. An excellent resource for learning how to start a meaningful dialogue with your partner is 1000 Questions For Couples.
R for Respect. Simply put, each partner must show due regard for the other's feelings, dreams, goals, ambitions, beliefs and hopes.
U for Understanding. When we first fall in love, we tend to place our partners on pedestals. However, we must remember that they are human beings with faults, flaws and foibles just like everyone else.
S for Support. Being in love is a breeze when times are good. Unfortunately, life isn't always sunny and bright. Our partners need our support the most when life throws us those curve balls. Couples who stand together when times are tough usually go the distance.
T for Thanks. Couples who show their appreciation for each other tend to have incredibly strong bonds. Makes sense doesn't it? However, many of us begin to take our partners for granted over time. Don't allow yourself to fall into this pattern. Let your partner know often how much you appreciate them.

Finally, make a commitment today to incorporate more T.R.U.S.T. into your relationships. My guess is you may be surprised at the positive changes in your union you will witness as a result.

What other qualities do you think comprise a strong and healthy relationship? Please share your feelings by commenting below!

Is Cheating A Relationship Deal Breaker For You?

2010-02-15T05:21:23Z

Very few things in this life feel worse than discovering that your partner has been unfaithful to you. That is why cheating is an evergreen "go-to" topic for countless talk shows, books, videos, songs, etc.

Due to the recent Tiger Woods scandal and the disintegration of the marriage of Elizabeth Edwards, infidelity has once again been in the forefront of the nation's zeitgeist.

Consequently, countless relationship experts argue that infidelity does not have to mean the end of the relationship. These experts assert that cheating is a symptom of other underlying issues.

I disagree. To be completely honest, cheating would be a relationship deal breaker for me.

While I understand people cheat for many different reasons, my opinion is that the act of being unfaithful in and of itself is a major isssue. Why? When a partner cheats on you, your trust in that person is almost always irrevocably broken.

In my mind, if you can no longer trust your partner, what is the point of continuing the relationship? Even if your partner is truly sorry and remorseful, the question remains: can you ever truly completely trust him/her again?

Yes, I do recognize that many couples stay together despite infidelity. However, staying together doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is happy or healthy.

For example, if your partner has to work late or go out of town for business, would doubt still linger in the back of your mind as to what they are actually doing?

So, what are your feelings about cheating in a realtionship? Would it be a deal breaker for you? Do you think a relationship can be salvaged and trust re-built after a partner has been unfaithful?

Please, share your thoughts by commenting below.

Will You Be Single On Valentine's Day? Then Get S.A.D!

2010-02-06T07:36:14Z

Let me start off by stating that Valentine's Day is not my favorite holiday. Why? My feeling is you should let that special someone in your life know you love them EVERY day, not just on one day designated to sell roses, cards, jewelry and candy.

Also, what about the millions of others, who by choice or circumstance, are single? Are they supposed to be left out in the cold?

To answer this question, a new, hilarious movement was begun a few years ago. A holiday was created by singles and for singles as their answer to Valentine's Day. This new holiday is called Single Awareness Day or S.A.D.

Personally, I think this idea is brillant - and it's catching on! Singles who participate in S.A.D. often celebrate by:

exchanging especially themed greeting cards and gifts with other singles
organizing and attending parties, socials, movie nights, or other activities for singles
getting a group together to volunteer to support a favorite charity
observing S.A.D. between February 13th and 15th of each year

Additonally, the main benefit of observing S.A.D. is that it is a fun, carefee, creative way to celebrate life with friends. It also is a great way to take the sting out of the often lamented "Valentine's Day blues" by poking fun at the whole affair.

Finally, by socializing with other singles, you will have the opportunity to nurture current relationships, plus meet new, like-minded people.

So, if you are single, don't allow Valentine's Day to get you down in the dumps ever again. Grab some friends, have some fun and celebrate S.A.D!

What are your feelings about Valentine's Day and commercialism? Do you think it's gotten out of hand? Please share your thoughts and opinions with us!

Planning That First Date? Here Are Some Fun (& Cheap) Ideas!

2010-01-26T05:59:30Z

Making plans for a first date can be a nerve wracking experience, especially if you are on a budget. Don't worry! With a little thought and creativity, you can plan a fun, memorable (and inexpensive) date.

The following are some great date ideas that are not only fun, but will also serve to break the ice - and not the bank!

Attend a local festival. Most local communities have one. The price of admission is often free or very inexpensive. Additionally, these festivals have many fun and entertaining activities for attendees to enjoy.
Go for a scenic drive. Plan a drive with just the two of you along a scenic route. What's great about this idea is that it can be vey romantic no matter what the season, or where you live. For example, view the different colors of leaves during the Fall. Drive along a costal highway. See Christmas lights at night. You get the idea!
Plan a picnic. It may seem cliche', but this idea is timeless. Pack a small lunch or wine, crackers and cheese. Then, you both pick out a perfect spot and enjoy.
Play Laser Tag! If your date is up for it, then a game of laser tag can be just the ticket! Most laser tag franchises offer memberships which include great discounts on game sessions. Plus, unlike paint-ball, there are no physical projectiles that can ruin clothes or cause any pain. For more information on laser tag franchises in the U.S. and Canada visit: Wheretoplaylasertag.org
Volunteer This idea is one of my favorites. Volunteering with your date for a cause you both feel strongly about is a great way to build rapport, plus make a difference. From story book reading to kids, to providing meals on wheels, there are so many different opportunities available. Attending a charity event also falls into this category. For information on volunteer opportunities in your area, visit: volunteermatch.org.
Take a class. Another great idea is to take a class together. Many institutions offer single cooking, dance, photography, etc. classes that would be great for a first date. Check with libraries or universities in your area for more information.

Hopefully you are starting to realize that there are many, great date ideas out there that won't cost you a small fortune. Again, just use a little creativity and remember to have fun!

If you have other great first date suggestions, please leave a comment and share them with us!

Men Vs Women - How Their Listening Styles Differ (Video)

2010-01-19T06:39:31Z

If you follow this blog for any length of time, you will realize that I'm a huge cheerleader for couples improving their communication skills in order to better relate to each other.

Subsequently, a KEY ingredient to better communication in relationships is discovering how women and men differ in the way they listen to each other.

The following video does a great job of summing up the main differences in the listening styles between women and men:

So, what are YOUR feelings on how women and men tend to listen? Please, comment and share your thoughts with us!

How Guys Can Overcome A Top Dating Roadblock - Shyness

2010-01-18T04:49:06Z

Do you consider yourself a shy person? How often have you encountered someone you might be interested in, but did not approach them because of fear of being judged?

Or if you did muster up enough courage to approach a woman, you found yourself tongue-tied and flustered?

Many men cite shyness as one of the main causes for their lack of success in dating.

Okay, here's the bad news. When you are shy about approaching a woman you might be interested in, she has no way of knowing that you are just being timid. The hard truth is that shyness is often misinterpreted as:

being aloof
arrogance
being just plain creepy, as in stalker creepy

However, the good news is that you don't have to continue to allow shyness to hinder your dating life. There are ways to overcome it.

First, let's examine one of root causes of shyness in most people. Shyness often stems from self-esteem issues. You don't feel you measure up. You constantly compare yourself to others - and find yourself lacking. Your self-confidence is extremely low.

Shyness might seem harmless, but it can make getting to know someone extremely difficult. This is due to the "mental stories" that you have going on in your head. Thoughts such as "she may not like me because I'm too short, bald, etc." are often baseless and only serve to hold you back.

The following are some helpful tips you can use to overcome dating shyness:

First, realize that you have the power within yourself to change. Once you accept this realization, the catalyst for overcoming shyness is unleashed.

Next, counter negative thoughts of unworthiness, inferiority and fear with positive, self-affirming mental images. If you need help with this, there are countless books and other resources to help you. The key is to realize that you can make a conscious decision to change the focus of what you think about.

Learn to become more comfortable in your own skin. If you are constantly worried about what others think of you, stop! Consider this: often the most confident people aren't always the prettiest or the most handsome. They are the folks who are truly comfortable with who they are, and could care less about what others think of them. This trait is extremely attractive.

Overcome your fear of approaching women with practice. Practice small talk with that person in the elevator, or the cashier at the grocery store. Start conversations by asking genuine questions, or pay a sincere complement. The goal is to just start. The more practice you have in talking to others, the less intimidation you will feel.

Finally, please remember that you don't have to let shyness continue to hinder your love life. It may seem daunting at first, but it can be overcome. It just takes the will to change. Let today be your day.

What are your feelings about the impact that shyness has on dating?

Women Labeled Cougars - A Double Standard At Play?

2010-01-09T04:32:19Z

It happened very gradually. Over the last several months, I've become more aware of a new term being bandied about in popular media. "You know that guy was bagged by a cougar?" "Cougars are hot!" "Man, that bar was filled with cougars!"

I thought, "what the hell are these people talking about?" Then this past fall, the ABC television network premiered a new Courtney Cox sitcom called, of all things, Cougartown.

Well that was the last straw. Being the un-hipster that I am, I searched online to find out what this new, popular slang term meant. Wow, were my eyes opened!

The definitions for cougar are varied, but they all are variations of the same theme: Typically, a cougar is a single, successful, attractive, 35+ year-old woman who dates (or just beds) much younger men.

Think Demi Moore and Ashton Kucther. So, there you have it America. A brand spanking new label for you to use to divide people even further.

Personally, I hate it. In my opinion, calling these women cougars most definitely has a negative connotation. When one thinks of an actual cougar, one term immediately leaps to mind: A predator.

Call me crazy, but that is not the most flattering term one can use to refer to someone else. More importantly, it's indicative of the sexual double standard in this country between men and women.

Consider this, when older men date much younger women, the man is considered virile, confident, and sophisticated. The younger woman is often thought of as a "gold-digger," or possessed of questionable morals.

On the other hand, when older women date younger men, they are considered to be "robbing the cradle." The often unspoken sentiment is that they are desperate and needy.

To be fair, I have encountered persuasive arguments to the contrary. Many argue that "cougars" are now seen in a positive light. That being a cougar currently means mature women are considered desirable, in control of their lives, and as powerful as their male counterparts.

Others insist these women are now being celebrated in popular culture, like the aforementioned sitcom Cougartown. They also assert that many younger men consider it a coup if they attract the romantic attention of these older women. Dating guides, web sites, and books have sprung up in service to these women.

While this argument does seem to have merit, there is one basic question still nagging at me. In light of the fact that there is no label for older men who date younger women, why is there the need to label older women who chose to date younger men?

Is not this label indicative of a double standard at play?

Tell me, am I way off base here? What are your feelings about this?