A Dating Secret Most Men Don't Want You To Know

The Stage Is Set

Alright ladies, most of you are very familiar with this scenario: you are at the bar or restaurant minding your own business when out of the blue,  some guy is standing there in front of you. 

Almost immediately you know he is not your type. So you shut him down and send him away with his tail between his legs.

Rinse and repeat.

The Secret Exposed

Here is the dating secret most men don't want you to know - despite all the macho posturing, it hurts us more deeply than we care to admit when you rebuff our initial romantic overtures. It wounds us maybe even more than you realize. 

Consider this, before that guy approached you with an offer to dance or buy your next drink, he probably spent the previous 30 minutes just gathering up the courage to talk to you. 

You may be thinking "Well a man's insecurity is not my problem!"  

And you are right, it's not.

But the fact is, whenever any of us put ourselves out there emotionally, we are taking a major risk by allowing ourselves to become vulnerable.

It is the only way to make a real connection to another human being.  

Bottom line, isn't that the real reason we play the dating game in the first place?

Finally

So, as we play the dating game and select potential partners, let's remember to try to extend more compassion to each other as fellow human beings.  

Because in the end, we all are searching for the same thing. 

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Comments

[Tina T]

I do think that women make a big mistake when they forget how much men want to avoid rejection. I know plenty of women that approach meeting men with the notion that men want women who play hard to get and then they are confused when they are overlooked in favor of the woman who wasn't afraid to smile at the guy and send a signal that she is approachable. They will formulate all kinds of complex theories for why they can't seem to meet a nice guy rather than understanding that nice guys still fear the word "no."

[Terez]

My feeling is, the best approach at meeting members of the opposite sex is to just play it straight, and be honest with your intentions. Playing mind games is so cliché and most people find directness and confidence refreshing - and attractive! As always, a great observation Tina!