Even in the best of times, arguments are an unpleasant, though inevitable part of most relationships.

However, arguing with a partner can often be a very vicious experience. Think about it: we often know what "hot buttons" to push that will send our mate over the edge.

Unfortunately, the resulting aftermath of most arguments is hurt feelings, anger, and resentment.

The good news: it does not have to be this way. The following are 7 methods that most experts agree can be used to defuse arguments with your partner and enable effective, healthy communication between the two of you.

SPECIAL NOTE: Violence or acts of violence are never acceptable! If arguments are always aggressive, or you avoid any conflict altogether due to concern for your personal safety, you need support. Please visit  the National Domestic Violence Hotline web site or call 1-800-799-7233 for help 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

1. Make an agreement with yourself to control your own temper. Raging tempers in an argument is like adding gasoline to a bonfire.  If necessary, walk away, cool off and try to have the discussion at another time.
2. Think before you speak!  Your mouth doesn't have a backspace key. Saying something hurtful is akin to polluting the air in your home. Once done, no amount of apologizing can remove those words, and the pain they may have caused your partner.
3. Consent to see things from your partner's perspective.   By no means does this mean you must agree with your partner's position. However, placing yourself in their shoes may give you more clarity to help forge a healthy compromise.
4. Ask questions. Asking questions will allow you to explore your partner's feelings, gain a full understanding of what they are trying to say, and allow you to discover the root issues at play.
5. Consider external influences.  Consider that you might be affected by other circumstances, such as, are you stressed out, tired, or angry about something else?
6. Express yourself clearly.  Say what you mean and mean what you say. 
7. Agree to Disagree - Often this is the simplest solution.  Not every battle must have a winner or loser.

Let's be honest, in every relationship there is going to be disagreements.  However, by using the tips above you can learn to communicate effectively with your partner in a constructive, positive way.  For more strategies,  explore The Magic Of Making Up relationship ebook page on this site.

Finally,  we encourage you to share your thoughts with us!  Also, please share this article with others you feel may benefit from this information.