4 Annoying Misconceptions About Being Single

"I don't like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone." - Delta Burke

Being single in a world still mainly oriented toward couples can have its share of challenges.  There is still a collective undercurrent of pity and sympathy expressed for people who are not romantically attached to anyone. 

And frankly, it gets a little irritating.

As a single person myself,  many unsolicited assurances have been made to me by well-meaning acquaintances that "my special someone is out there," or "there's still plenty of time" for me to find my soul mate.

"Plenty of time?" Is there a deadline someone forgot to tell me about?

Unfortunately, somewhat of a social stigma is attached to singles, especially the older a person gets.  And God forbid you are single and never have been married!

At least divorced or widowed people get a (temporary) pass. Eventually though, even they are advised to "get back on that horse" and start dating again.

In order to help clear the air, the following are five common, annoying misconceptions people have about single people in general:

1. If you're single, you are looking for a partner.  This one is terrible because of its presumption.  Not every single person in the land is actively looking for a mate. So, before you attempt to play amateur match-maker for that single co-worker, neighbor, friend or relative, first ask them if they are interested in meeting someone.  Then respect their answer.
2. Deep down, single people are sad and lonely.  Uhm no, not true.  Just because a person isn't romantically attached is by no means indicative of their emotional state.  Just as being in a relationship doesn't guarantee a person is happy or fulfilled.
3. If you're single, you're a commitment phobe. Again, this is such a blanket generalization. People are not wired all the same.  Yes, most definitely there are individuals who fear commitment. But there are others who choose to be single for any number of other myriad reasons personal to them.
4. Single people are somehow incomplete. Wrong again.  Despite how romantic the notion may be,  the reality is another person can not make you complete.  You are whole in and of yourself. Ultimately, you are responsible for your own happiness regardless of your relationship status. Rest assured, the fastest path to heart break is by seeking happiness and fulfillment primarily in someone else.

Finally, we all need to realize that our relationship status is simply our state of being, and not a definition of who we are inside.  We are all unique and varied individuals - that's what makes life so wonderful!  So, before you judge a book by its cover, remember to look deeper.

What other misconceptions about being single are missing from the list? Please share by commenting below!

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Comments

[Henry]

Good post Terez. I'm guilty of saying all of those things to my single friends, especially the ones my age (41). I've realized different situations are rights for different people. I have some unmarried friends that must have a girlfriend or significant other, even if they just went through a break-up. I have other friends that are my age, single and very happy being single.

[Terez]

Henry, thanks for stopping by and commenting! I love the fact that you said different situations are right for different people. Bottom line is, it's all about accepting people for who they are.

[Tinzley]

Preach! I agree there are too many views on why the single say and do what they do. It's all about experience and why not share what you may or may not have learned along the way. Thanks! T

[Terez]

Yes Tinzley, there is still a lingering stigma attached to adults who are single. You're right that everyone's experience is unique, and can't be stereotyped. Thanks for stopping by!