Let me start off by stating that Valentine's Day is not my favorite holiday.  Why? My feeling is you should let that special someone in your life know you love them EVERY day, not just on one day designated to sell roses, cards, jewelry and candy.

Also, what about the millions of others, who by choice or circumstance, are single?  Are they supposed to be left out in the cold?

To answer this question, a new, hilarious movement was begun a few years ago.  A holiday was created  by singles and for singles as their answer to Valentine's Day.  This new holiday is called Single Awareness Day or S.A.D.

Personally, I think this idea is brillant - and it's catching on!  Singles who participate in S.A.D. often celebrate by:

• exchanging especially themed greeting cards and gifts with other singles
• organizing and attending parties, socials, movie nights, or other activities for singles
• getting a group together to volunteer to support a favorite charity
• observing S.A.D. between February 13th and 15th of each year

Additonally, the main benefit of observing S.A.D. is that it is a fun, carefee, creative way to celebrate life with friends.  It also is a great way to take the sting out of the often lamented "Valentine's Day blues" by poking fun at the whole affair.

Finally, by socializing with other singles, you will have the opportunity to nurture current relationships, plus meet new, like-minded people.

So,  if you are single, don't allow Valentine's Day to get you down in the dumps ever again.  Grab some friends, have some fun and celebrate S.A.D! 

What are your feelings about Valentine's Day and commercialism?  Do you think it's gotten out of hand? Please share your thoughts and opinions with us!



Making plans for a first date can be a nerve wracking experience, especially if you are on a budget.  Don't worry! With a little thought and creativity, you can plan a fun, memorable (and inexpensive) date.

The following are some great date ideas that are not only fun, but will also serve to break the ice - and not the bank!

1. Attend a local festival.   Most local communities have one. The price of admission is often free or very inexpensive.  Additionally, these festivals have many  fun and entertaining activities for attendees to enjoy.
2. Go for a scenic drive.  Plan a drive with just the two of you along a scenic route. What's great about this idea is that it can be vey romantic no matter what the season, or where you live. For example,  view the different colors of leaves during the Fall. Drive along a costal highway. See Christmas lights at night. You get the idea!
3. Plan a picnic.  It may seem cliche', but this idea is timeless.  Pack a small lunch or wine, crackers and cheese. Then, you both pick out a perfect spot and enjoy.
4. Play Laser Tag!  If your date is up for it, then a game of laser tag can be just the ticket!  Most laser tag franchises offer memberships which include great discounts on game sessions. Plus, unlike paint-ball, there are no physical projectiles that can ruin clothes or cause any pain. For more information on laser tag franchises in the U.S. and Canada visit:  Wheretoplaylasertag.org
5. Volunteer This idea is one of my favorites.  Volunteering with your date for a cause you both feel strongly about is a great way to build rapport, plus make a difference.  From story book reading to kids, to providing meals on wheels, there are so many different opportunities available. Attending a charity event also falls into this category. For information on volunteer opportunities in your area, visit:  volunteermatch.org.
6. Take a class.  Another great idea is to take a class together.  Many institutions offer single cooking, dance, photography, etc. classes that would be great for a first date. Check with libraries or universities in your area for more information.

Hopefully you are starting to realize that there are many, great date ideas out there that won't cost you a small fortune. Again, just use a little creativity and remember to have fun!

If you have other great first date suggestions, please leave a comment and share them us!

If you follow this blog for any length of time,  you will realize that I'm a huge cheerleader for couples improving their communication skills in order to better relate to each other.

Subsequently, a KEY ingredient to better communication in relationships is discovering how women and men differ in the way  they listen to each other.

The following video does a great job of summing up the main differences  in the listening styles between women and men:

So,  what are YOUR feelings on how women and men tend to listen?  Please, comment and share your thoughts with us!

Do you consider yourself a shy person?  How often have you encountered someone you might be interested in, but did not approach them because of fear of being judged?

Or if you did muster up enough courage to approach  a woman, you found yourself tongue-tied and flustered?

Many men cite shyness as one of the main causes for their lack of success in dating. 

Okay, here's the bad news.  When you are shy about approaching a woman you might be interested in, she has no way of knowing that you are just being timid.  The hard truth is that shyness is often misinterpreted as:

• being aloof
• arrogance
• being just plain creepy, as in stalker creepy

However, the good news is that you don't have to continue to allow shyness to hinder your dating life. There are ways to overcome it.

First, let's examine one of root causes of shyness in most people.  Shyness often stems from self-esteem issues. You don't feel you measure up.  You constantly compare yourself to others - and find yourself lacking. Your self-confidence is extremely low.

Shyness might seem harmless, but it can make getting to know someone extremely difficult. This is due to the "mental stories" that you have going on in your head. Thoughts such as "she may not like me because I'm too short, bald, etc."  are often baseless and only serve to hold you back. 

The following are some helpful tips you can use to overcome dating shyness:

• First, realize that you have the power within yourself to change. Once you accept this realization, the catalyst for overcoming shyness is unleashed. 

• Next, counter negative thoughts of unworthiness, inferiority and fear with positive, self-affirming mental images.  If you need help with this, there are countless books and other resources to help you. The key is to realize that you can make a conscious decision to change the focus of what you think about.

• Learn to become more comfortable in your own skin.  If you are constantly worried about what others think of you, stop!  Consider this: often the most confident people aren't always the prettiest or the most handsome. They are the folks who are truly comfortable with who they are, and could care less about what others think of them.  This trait is extremely attractive.

• Overcome your fear of approaching women with practice.  Practice small talk with that person in the elevator, or the cashier at the grocery store. Start conversations by asking genuine questions, or pay a sincere complement. The goal is to just start. The more practice you have in talking to others, the less intimidation you will feel.

 Finally, please remember that you don't have to let shyness continue to hinder your love life. It may seem daunting at first, but it can be overcome. It just takes the will to change. Let today be your day.

What are your feelings about the impact that shyness has on dating?

It happened very gradually. Over the last several months, I've become more aware of a new term being bandied about in popular media.  "You know that guy was bagged by a cougar?"  "Cougars are  hot!"  "Man, that bar was filled with cougars!"

I thought, "what the hell are these people talking about?"  Then this past fall, the ABC television network premiered a new Courtney Cox sitcom called, of all things, Cougartown. 

Well that was the last straw. Being the un-hipster that I am, I searched online to find out what this new, popular slang term meant.  Wow, were my eyes opened!

The definitions for cougar are varied, but they all are variations of the same theme: Typically, a cougar is a single, successful, attractive, 35+ year-old woman who dates (or just beds)  much younger men.

Think Demi Moore and Ashton Kucther.   So, there you have it America.  A brand spanking new label  for you to use to divide people even further.

Personally, I hate it.  In my opinion, calling these women cougars most definitely has a negative connotation. When one thinks of an actual cougar, one term immediately leaps to mind:  A predator.

Call me crazy, but that is not the most flattering term one can use to refer to someone else. More importantly, it's indicative of the sexual double standard in this country between men and women.

Consider this, when older men date much younger women, the man is considered virile, confident,  and sophisticated. The younger woman is often thought of as a "gold-digger," or possessed of questionable morals. 

On the other hand, when older women date younger men, they are considered to be "robbing the cradle."  The often unspoken sentiment is that they are desperate and needy.

To be fair, I have encountered persuasive arguments to the contrary.  Many argue that "cougars" are now seen in a positive light.  That being a cougar currently means mature women are considered desirable, in control of their lives, and as powerful as their male counterparts.

Others insist these women are now being celebrated in popular culture, like the aforementioned sitcom Cougartown. They also assert that many younger men consider it a coup if they attract the romantic attention of these older women. Dating guides, web sites, and books have sprung up in service to these women.

While this argument does seem to have merit, there is one basic question still nagging at me. In light of the fact that there is no label for older men who date younger women, why is there the need to label older women who chose to date younger men?

Is not this label indicative of a double standard at play?

Tell me, am I way off base here? What are your feelings about this?